What's next ??

I mean seriously what's next??
I mean, I also don really understand myself.

I used to think that I really change the world,
Acting on the impulse thoughts

As time goes by,
the more mask I "wear",
the more confuse I get..

Sometime I am not sure i am acting on "goodwill" or "selfish through",
I mean I am so used to do things on that fine "gray lines",
"Good" or "Wrong" sometime really does not matter to me as long at things are done.

Still remember than incident whereby I went Zouk on Saturday till early Sunday morning,
then went rest somewhere for a few hours,
then went to church with a semi hangover face,
Is this what people meant by "假 holy" ??

Sometime I do really wonder what is the "impression" that i give other??
a quiet guy?? a semi-beng?? a old uncle ?? a childish guy ?? a bossy guy ??
I do act differently with different people

I do feel afraid of the future.
People of my age are in NS/completed NS
I do really want to own a  business of my own,but i am always broke
I do really want to do stuffs that people might think its crazy
I do like the feel of "anticipation" and adrenaline rush

No i am not emotional
It's just that sometime venting out those feeling inside, somewhat make me feel better.