Weird Sunday

Had a bad sleep and wake up feeling drowsy.Maybe i am not to used to not having my bolster to hug.Yup i am a 20 year old guy that still need a bolster to fall asleep.

-->Take at the New Penang Bridge,which is about 24km.

-->That white dog behind is a model.It keep posing for my brother to take photo.While the brown dog was too tired to move

-->It a real snake by the way

-->A life size adult king cobra.

-->Guess how old is this guy??Hint, it a 3 digit number.

-->Don be fool by this pic.This sleeping snake is about 7m.Did not really want to go near to take a photo cos the guide say he is a constrictor snake and i don want to get into trouble with this guy.

-->The neighbour of the snake above,Keep in a small pond.About 7 meter also.This guy is awake by the way.













Mom book a car and a driver for 4 hours to bring us around Penang.Went to the two famous bridge,the snake temple,a war museum and we spent most of the time asking the driver to bring us to take a look at the different area of Penang.The driver suggested that we should go to Langkawi tomorrow if we did not have anything plan for tomorow.So we went to the ferry terminal and ask for the ferry schedule,but due to the timing of the ferry we are not able to go.

After the tour,went to have lunch and dad went for a foot massage,while the rest of us went to shopping.Catch a movie as the cinema there too. Always like watch movie at Malaysia cos the cinema is always darm empty.Continue shopping after that.

Meet dad back at the hotel at 9pm and went to have ba ku teh for dinner cos dad insist of having it.Did not really eat much though.

Went back to the hotel and watch some shows and feel asleep at don know what time.

Disappearing Saturday

Kinda hope that this short trip will allow me to sort out lots of stuffs.Though I keep saying I will stay positive but my mind keep wondering about the stuffs that happen and stuffs that will not happen.Guess that the "uniqueness" about me.

Planed to try something called "travel disappearing act",which someone goes on a get-away trip without telling anyone and during the trip the person is not allow to see or update any social media feeds and their phone is off.Always wanted to try this.

Fly off at around 3.10pm and reach Penang at around 4.30pm.Used to have this excited feeling when the airplane take off and land,but now it seem like nothing much.Watch the movie "Dredd" on funsion during the flight.The movie was quite nice i would say.

Did no prior research about the place and my family and I was like asking random people for hotel recommendation and we just took a taxi to the town area and have lunch.Walk around to find a hotel as we did not book any hotel and lucky we manage to find a nice hotel which is just down the street from the place that we had our lunch.

After check in and etc,it was around 7pm and we just walk around the hotel area to shop and look around.I would say the shopping area there is quite limited.

Walk around some more to find food for dinner and decided to take away the food and go back to the hotel to eat as we were all very tired.

Sleep around 12am.

Emptiness Friday

Have nothing plan for today,so i decided to do some of my non-important stuff.Went to Redhill to buy some stuffs from Amway.(FYI,I am a Amway distributor.)

For those that don know what is Amway,i shall briefly explain.It a so called "Multi level marketing" by the TYPICAL general public that sell daily products at 'high price'.If you search on the internet, 9 out of 10 will be negative comments.Will not tried to convince anyone anything,but i have been a distributor for Amway for more than 2 years and i never really earn any money out of it,but i still renew my distributionship anyway because i can see the value of the products and the hope it give people.

After that,went to Holland Village because there is this shophouse cafe that i have been to and I really like the cafe design and on the second level,they will play those trendy love music.

Did some writing there for a while and after about an hour,left the cafe and went to explore the "atas" cafes and the shopping place.

By the time I finish exploring the place,it was 6pm and i hate to take MRT during peak hours,especially if i have to change to a different line.So I decided to explore the around the area and ended up walking to Buona vista MRT. Always wanted to go The Star Vista to take a look but never have the time.When i went there,i saw lot of people with this cute alpacas soft toy.Something similar to the photo.Went to explore the shopping center and i really like the the concept of the shopping mall and the different shop.Suddenly got lot of new ideas in my mind to do something.And finally i know where is The Star Theater is.Haha

Since it was still early,decided to walk around again and I ended up at commonwealth MRT station.Feel darm sweaty and decided not to walk anymore,so went to take a bus to Toa Payoh and from there,took a bus back home.

Will be disappearing from a few days,hopefully by there,i will have figure out some stuffs in my mind.Really hope you can block me from all your social media,cos i have been excessively stalking you,but feel darm awkward to tell you. 

Exploration Thursday

Finally find the time to do hotel hopping.Did some research on some travel websites and I am quite interested in the boutique hotel near Bugis area.Reasons being

1.Short traveling time.
2.Hotel have lesser rooms compare to big hotel,which mean i don need to work my ass off during the peak seasons.
3.Learn more and being able to be adaptable.
4.Having places to go in case of split shift.
5.Learn new things and how boutique hotel operate
6.Typical boutique hotel guests are much more easy to handle as they do not have high expectations of the place,which make communication more fun.
7.Boutique hotel room are generally much smaller and more easier to clean.
8.Being able to slack when there is not much guest around.

I already have a super ideal hotel that i want to go and i already sent an email for appointment.Hopefully they can reply me as soon as possible.

Photo taken from the website.

Tired Wednesday

.Watch some reality TV show till moring till 6am.Wanted to go hotel hopping today,but i oversleep,i woke up at around 2pm and i really feel sleep and lazy to move.

Not wanting to waste the days,went to Hideout in the late afternoon .Did some researching stuff over there and went to zone X and by the time i look at the time,it was almost 10pm. Should have gone there early cos i haven finish my stuff.

For once i am glad that i am totally wrong.I rarely admit that i am wrong because that how I am.

Knowing that everything i post here might be seen by you.

Motivated Tuesday

Despite having 2 disappointed day in a row,today was actually quite a peaceful one."nua" on bed till I feel like waking up and play laptop till afternoon and went to lunch with dad before heading to school for CCA.Holiday kinda drain my motivation as there is no actual plan and the only way to pass time is to play maplestory.

Really wish that there is someone who can really accompany me to do tons of stuffs during this holiday but it seem like I don know who to call.Wanted to started on my etp project but I am afraid my proposal might not get approve and I cannot get  reimburse for the stuff that I bought and I really need to find someone who is mad enough to help me kickstart this project.

My hotel hoping activity was suppose to on Monday but have to postpone due to some unforeseen things.Since I am free tomorrow,I shall do it tomorrow.I wonder if I can go to more to 30 hotel to take a look and hopefully I can make a better decision for my IAP.After my recent IAP,I am much conscious of choosing my IAP place,as it will be for 6 months and I really need a good grade for this.We can hear lots of good things about the place but when we are at that organizations,things are not that nice,especially when you really feel cheated by that organizations.

Saw this post on Facebook and decided to check out this guy.I would say all his post i can really relate to what his is trying to say and this is one of my favorite.I guess deep down inside everyone,we will definitely have the desire for recognition by other.

This post can be a short summary of what happen to me now.My low self-esteem really put me in a awkward spot.I want to take the first move to start a conversation,but i really don know how.I want to tell you how i really feel but given the current situation,it is impossible.

Lets put it in a simple way.I assume i know how it will end.I am too afraid of losing the friendship.I am afraid of what will happen .I know it hurt,but it seem impossible to let go not matter how hard i try.I know I can never be the guy you like.I hope that miracle would happen,but i know this is not a fairy-tail.

Darm Disapointed Monday

Really feel freaking disappointed today.Was waiting for the call to go swim and ended up waiting from morning till afternoon and then was cancel.That why i hate asking people to do activity with me,i ended up waiting for people and they always "put me aeroplane".

I should have do my hotel hopping today to find a suitable place for my attachment but i postponed it because i thought your will make it for today swim.

Feel darm irritated that i decided to go to swim alone.So after lunch with my dad,I ask him to drive me to Sengkang Swimming Complex and when i reach there,it was close on Monday.+-$#@$%@#%$#%#$$@. But still i decided to go to the Ba Ku Teh at jalan kyu because I really miss the stir fry Ba Ku Teh.

And guess what,i freaking order the wrong one.Really not my day.haiz.

After that went to Bishan Swiming Complex and swim for 2 hours.Was quite suprise that the pool was quite pack.I kinda of relax to swim alone as you can keep swimming without distractions,keep trying to push myself to swim when i really feel tired.But after the swim,i feel very refresh.Wanted to go NTUC to buy some salad for dinner so walk from the swiming complex to amk hub.

Kinda have this mix feeling that I really want to get rid of.of. Initially I thought that giving up was the right choice,but now,i really feel that giving up was really a really bad mistake.I hate myself for not trying before giving up and how i really don know what to do.

I feel like I am acting like a crybaby for your attention and being a constant irritation to you but i really don know what to do.To be honest,I really force myself to let go and try to push you away but it only turn into more mix emotions in me.

Sometime i really hate myself for being selfish and being ironic and also having to much confidence in things that i know i cannot achieve and end up like a pathatic and anoying fool and cause so many drama for others.I know that i say that i will not post anything negative in this blog anymore,but i really really don know what to do to end this stupid emotions that i have.

Disappointed Sunday

Really feel disappointed today.I really don like when my plan get cancel last mins.Planed to go trick eye museum but some last mins things pop up and the plan was cancel.It also happen that the half price promotions end today.But i really want to go but i really don like to ask people out.

So ended up watch movie on ipad the whole day and play Maplestory till morning.Really a dissapointed day today.

w

Awkward Saturday

Initially my plan for the day is to go to the 2 degree ice exhibition in the afternoon and have dinner with dad in the evening.Wanted to go there for a long time but no one want to go with me so i kinda forget about it and recently saw someone instagram and suddenly got the urge to go,and i search on the web and realise that it will end on 22 june,which is Sunday.

I think my body clock is a bit screw up.I wake up at 11am and watch tv and i was feeling super tired that i feel asleep on the sofa and wake up at around 3pm+.Drag myself to bath and then took the bus there.

When i reach there,i was a bit awkward to queue up for the tickets as all the people are in big group and "my balls literally shrink" then i don dare to go queue up and i thought of dragging my dad to there so i took bus back home and try to psycho my dad,but he was not interested and he want to sleep on he rest day rather than going out. So I guess i will be missing out this events.

Went to eat with dad during evening and went we came back,my dad ask me to book air ticket to Malaysia because he and mom decided to bring the whole family for a short vacation.I am kinda afraid this vacation might not be a nice one as we are on a free and easy trip and we did not book any hotel yet.Hopefully everything end up well.  

Emotionless Friday

Wake up early to prepare for work.Got this event job from my bro that he say is very easy and the pay was $50,so why not.

The job was to distribute and keep the small drums for a event.It was the most simple and relax job that I have done and our job liase person which which thought was a guy was in fact a young pretty lady.

Wanted to go to the trick eye museum today,but the job end to late at 5.00pm at expo so I guess i will go on Sunday instead.

Currently writing this post from my favorite hideout.Time check 6.40pm.I thought I have already done enough thinking when I was at the chalet,but I guess life was not easy not me because I am too introvert and I don really like to share my soft side with other but I would like to find somewhere quiet and do some quiet thinking by myself.

I am alway mislead by my own expectation of other,I alway though it was natural for other to take the first step to salvage the friendship and I was being an asshole for alway being the first to walk out when things happens.But I have lost the ability to trust my own actions,I really don know what are worth fighting and what are not worth keeping,I don know if people are asking because they care or asking for the sake of asking.To be honest I have no ideas what I am doing most of my time.I am glad that sometime people would try to salvage the friendship but most of the time,people would just leave.

I guess the reason why I seem so anti social is because I hope people can accept me first for who I am before I can really open up and go do some crazy stuff with them.I am really tired because sometime the friendship that I really put in a lot of effort and I don mind doing things for the friendship,which I thought was the strongest turn out to be the weakest.And acting like I don care or give a darm on the outside,but I was like a broken soul on the inside.

Sometime those that look the strongest on the outside and broken souls on the inside.

Energetic Thursday

Check out the chalet at around 11.30am and went to parkway parade to eat with those that stay over night.On the way there,one of us found a wallet on the bus and an aunty suggested we should pass to the police station instead of giving to the bus captain.We went to the police post and found that it was close,and I suggested to pass it to the bank as we were all hungry and did not know what to do with the wallet.

Went to have our brunch at KFC before going back home.

Reach home at about 2.30pm and slept till 9pm when mom bought me breakfast.Went back to sleep after eating due to work on Friday afternoon.

BBQ camping Wednesday

Meet two classmate in the afternoon and went to the chalet together at east coast together.

Initially it was a bit awkward in when more people came in the beginning but subsequently these small talk mange to break the ice and I become more comfortable being myself.

Try to BBQ the food,end up some food was burnt but the food is still nice to eat.

Did some sharing about the ex-f&b class and sent the lecture to the nearby main road to get a cab.Really glad to have a lecture that really give me a lot of opportunity to excel and helping me get a slot in the Canada oversea exchange program which I really learn a lot.

Continue to BBQ and drink and gambling all night long to morning.lost about $80 + I guess.At the end of the game,I suddenly think back to recent time when my mother and I lost about $3000 at the cruise casino on the first night and our face literally turn white as we were gambling whole night long and we went to eat our breakfast with our pale face and went to sleep only to go back to gambling on the second night and manage to break even.Looking back I must say I am a gamble addict but now I am playing using the extra money that I have and know how to control myself from over gambling.

Something will never be the same after today and since I started the thing,I will gladly accept what the outcome would be.For once I am really thankful that there is still a turning point after my actions.

Boring Tuesday

The second day of camp is really a disaster as I guess is due to poor planing and the lack of activity really make it really boring and some of them went back to sleep after breakfast.

Play some inter class captain ball and then after some prize giving ceremony,it was "break camp".Our class manage to win the overall best class and I must say everyone really put in a lot off effort.

Went home after that because I really do not want to carry the heavy bag to CCA in the evening.Mange to rest a bit at home before heading back to school.Initially I wanted to skip CCA as I was tired but I still manage to drag myself to CCA.

Did some really physical training and I ended up creating a puddle of sweat on the floor and I really was surprise that I really sweat a lot.

Daring Monday

Wake up early to go to the course camp at school. Initially I wanted to go to the camp with the intention to bond with the class,so I was enthuse at first but in the morning,I see that there is a distinct groups within the class and I am afraid to suddenly bend in to the different group and my enthusiasm suddenly disappear and went to emoing.

But during the afternoon,some of the classmate approach me and really try to talk to me and that really make me feel better but I guess that there is this invisible gap,perhaps is because of gender issue and the different view of different classmates.I want to talk to them but i don know what to talk about.

Sneak out of school to get dinner at the nearby Mac as I was too hungry and by the time I went back to school and bath,some classmate ask me if I want to go out and eat.I was kind of bored,so i just tagged along

Did not want to sleep at night so end up playing poker with some of them till morning 5am+ and took a short nap of 1 hour plus.

Somehow this camp was a bit bored for me perharp of certain reasons.

impromptu Sunday

Rotting at home playing maple from afternoon till evening,since there is really nothing much to do,except doing the FOA scrip for phase test and those books that I never read.Really become lazy during holiday as there is no activity that I can do cos I really don know who to ask.

During evening receive an impromptu message from ex-classmate for dinner.Initially did not want to but suddenly got a feel for satay and beer.So end up having the dinner at amk central S11.

Somehow I miss having lessons,so much time and yet nothing much to do.Wanting to do some sports but i am broke.Really miss those day doing kayaking,ice skating,inline skating,archery and etc.

Really need to change my eating habit,I realize that I have been eating to much fry food and I guess my body fat is too high that I have no stamina.Really need to change my diet habit,planing to bring salad to school each day when school reopen.

Mundane Saturday

Holiday are here and I really have nothing plan for this holiday except for plaing to get a part time job.Guess I will be rotting at home.Hopefully can get a part time job to get some pocket money as I am down to $200.Mom told me she had deposit some money in my account in case I need some cash.

Went to swimming with bros at hougang swimming complex in the afternoon.Did manage to did some laps around the pool and went to have dinner together.Time fly as now,some of them are in NS and soon,I will be my turn.And to be honest,I am really scare of NS and idk why and my physical is really to weak.

Change Friday

I was really not prepare for this changing journey,I never thought of the things I need to sacrifice and when I look back now,there will still be a "bitter sad feeling".Having a different attitude toward life and the actions you do,trying to take additional responsibility and fighting temptations and negative  each day.

I really wish I can play like I used to,but I really don have time and the clock is ticking each moment In people's eyes I may be acting weird,but truth be told is that I really want to concentrate during lesson and play after lesson,but some lessons are really boring and it really cause most of the students to do their own stuffs.I really get distracted by people easily,so I try to distance myself from the class by trying to sit and the back of the class and away from the rest and trying to occupy 2 seats,so as to minimize distractions.

When I distance myself from the sub group,I really find it hard to fit in after lessons with them.As time goes,I guess some are annoy by my attitude towards them.I really feel like I am not part of them anymore.This is when I made a decision to go solo because I will not change what I am doing now so as to fit in with them and not because I don treasure the friendship .

And now,when I see them playing around in lesson,therewill be this unknowingly jealousies feeling in my heart.Not because of the feeling for someone,but because I used to thought that the friendship was much stronger but it turn out not as I thought it will be.

Someone once tried to talk to me but that that moment I really don know how to say it.Now I have finally say it all out.

This will be my last post about the sub group and after that I will just be normal again.I made the decision and I have to accept the consequence 

Relaxing Thursday

Waking up late in bed really is the most luxurious thing one can have in this world.Able to sleep with no stress and sleep so soundly till you want to wake up and "nua" on bed till you really need to get up to go toilet.That the life i want,something simple with a family is just enough.But in this world,a simple life does not come cheap,hard work is needed.

Did nothing much today till the evening and my friend called me out for a swim cos we did not went yesterday.Sometime i really regret wearing contact lens in the past because my eye seem to be much more sensitive to chlorine now as part of my eyes turn red after few laps of swimming.did 7 laps and we decided to call it a day as we are going swimming again on Saturday.

Went back to have dinner with my mom and we did something which is darm embarrassing today.We forget to pay the bill when we left and my mom only remember this when we went home.I thought she have already pay and she thought i have already pay so we left the place. Luckily the place is near my house,so i had to walk back to pay.But still it really darm embarrassing.Need to find a hole and hide now.

Celebration Wednesday

Went to school for 2 hours only.Lecture go through some tips for the upcoming phase test and after that we just did our own stuff.


When lesson end,i hear some classmate are planing to go eat buffet but i did not really want to join them,so i went to have buffet alone.I tried to call some friends but it really impromptu and none of them can make it.
I also want to have something nice as to celebrate my first checkpoint in my changing journey.

After knowing what you want in life and setting small goals and working toward it,boring lessons seem to be much more interesting and i really like to pack my own timetable with lots of things,even if i am tired,i will still pull myself to do.Even if you did not achieve all you goals,but at least you did try to something and not nothing.

Hopefully during my next checkpoint dinner,i hope that i can ask more people out for the dinner,people that have set some goals and trying to achieve it.Proving to yourself that you can do what you think you cannot achieve.Celebrating hard work with good food and friends give momentum to achieve the next goals.Work hard,play hard,eat hard,for what we achieve is ours to keep.

Well-spent Tuesday

I am so going to flunk the so called "easiest module".Really need to work on my time managing skills.

Finally all 3 tests are over.Know my weakness for the modules.So that means I need to work harder for the upcoming test and exams.Must get 4.0 GPA.

Went to the attachment briefing and found it to be a waste of time.The teacher was just joking around.

After that,I went to the hotel visit to Grand Copthorne Waterfront Hotel.It really a beautiful hotel,the conference rooms,the rooms and the hotel interior is really one the best among the hotel i see so far.The staff share information about their sister's properties hotel which i think it really capitalize on the new trend in industry,which is compact rooms with lots of facility in room and bright white room wall colour.After that we went to tour around the hotel and view the different types of rooms.We ended the session with a tea break and a Q&A session.Went back to school after the tour.

Since it was still early for my CCA,went to gym for a while before going to jog with my ex-lecture and classmate for about 15 mins before going to CCA.

I guess hard-work finally pay off as i am able to kick better that the previous few sessions.I feel like doing some extreme exercise to try to loosen my muscle around the tight area and hopeful i can do splits.But next week seem pack and i don want to walk around limping. CCA are ending later and later and we were suppose to be release by 9pm but was drag till 9.30pm and i still need to stay back to do some payment for my first grading test.Left school at around 9.50pm and reach home at around 11.20pm,but i guess having CCA is better that staying at home and do nothing.

Heartfelt Monday

When I first begin in my 1 year changing,I was aiming to be an all rounder student,excel in different area,pushing myself to achieve more.But along the way,some stuffs happen.Lot of emotion turmoils each day,going to school each day with a heavy heart and pretending nothing have happen.

I just wish that my entrepreneur project could fast start,training hard for my CCA grading test,so that I could find something,anything, to kill time and numb all this emotion turmoils.

Today during the Section head class talk,problems were raise up.To me,the solutions was to change the attitude of how we treat the lecture.Back in those secondary one days,I was very rebellious,I remember the class don like this particular Chinese teacher that a few classmate and I suggested that we should rally the whole class to piss off this teacher.We try lots of funny ideas,from putting chalk powder in his chair and table,disrupt his lesson,pissing him off,talk back to him,the whole group of guys sleeping during his lesson and till one day,things got out of hand that a fight broke out between the lecturer and one of my classmate and none of us stop the fight but we continue to cheer on .Punishments were dealt out to those who were involve.

Then during sec 3, the same Chinese teacher teach me again.This time,I decided to try to change my attitude toward this particular teacher,then something amazing happen,I suddenly begin to like Chinese and me and this teacher suddenly become like friend.

Lessons learn through this incident was that if we try to fight with a higher authority,students will definitely lose,and we have to accept the consequences of our actions.I got to agree that some teacher will have a bit of attitude problem,but if we try to take the first step to be humble and see what the teacher can teach us.If they are really "useless" that try to talk to a even higher authority.But don be surprise that beneath the teacher spiky exterior,they have a beautiful interior.

Receive a surprise text from someone ask me why am I acting weird in class.I was really touch by this text but at the same time,this create another emotion turmoils in my mind again.I wanted to tell everything but at the same time,but how many people can really accept the cold hard truth.

Fatigue Sunday

Woke up early to go to toa payoh CC for the volunteer work for the 2014 Toa payoh central vertical marathon.Reach the cc at around 7.30am and was deploy immediately to the pet station for the pets race as paramedic with my brother.Well in fact I was just there to do nothing as I was not really train,but my brother was a certify first aider,so I was basically tagging around with my brother. 

Was excited days before the events as we were inform that there are about 15 to 20 dogs and a rabbit.but was a bit disappointed when the rabbit was not really able to hop for the whole race and the owner was carrying the rabbit to complete the race,but I must say the rabbit was really darm cute and shy.And some of the dogs were really cute especially those small one.

Next we we're deploy to help out with the ultimate race where contestant need to run up and down 5 block of 40 story.If I am not wrong,I think there were more participants last years.

Running around the area of about 5 hours without breakfast is really no joke,as I really dislike having breakfast in the morning,so I did not eat the breakfast bento box that they give me in the morning.Was a lot of pretty lady at the event.haha...

Had lunch at around 12pm and we basically did nothing much after our lunch and we just went to the cc exhibition across the road in front of the toa payoh library and after than went back to the cc for the debrief.

Went home after that and on the bus,the fatigue begin,really feel to tired to move but then,still have to move in order to go home.After bathing,I just nua on the bed typing the blog post that I miss out on.

Hopefully tomorrow I got the time to join my ex-lecture for the swim as I really need to work on my cardio as I realize from today event,that my body is getting weak and my stamina was not as good as before as I was panting just by climbing 13 floors of stairs.Last year I was able to climb around 20 floor of stair before panting.Really need to train before NS as I am aiming to go to OCS.

Mudane Saturday

Did nothing much today just nua at home playing iPad. And went to sleep early to prepare for tomorrow events

Awesome Friday

It has been quite sometime since I  play till very tired and a bit wild in school.Went to school early to do some last min projects work.So I woke up at 6am and reach school by 8am.

Housekeeping practical was next,for the first time,I have to clean and check so many toilets in a day.But I guess is the lecturer expectation that really make the job more tired as he is a very meticulous and I like it as it train me to be better than before.

After than,went to the hotel club orientation BBQ.Did manage to play with other classmate plus disturbing some other people.Was not really a good plan event though.And I was wanting to contribute to this CCA and become part of the exco,but because of my upcoming attachment,I was not really able to join the exco I guess.But still,I hope to contribute as much as possible to this CCA.

Left halfway to went to jog with my ex-lecturer and classmate.I has been quite some time since I jog.and after 4 km of jogging,my classmate and I went to gym for about 45 mins and went home after that.

Relaxing Thursday

Yesterday form teacher called to ask me about my attendance and she say the second warning letter will be sent to me soon.It can be annoying being in the sub group,when there is alway problem with the attendance as we are joining with other class and no one take attendance for us then suddenly you just receive letter for not attending class when you in fact did attend lesson.

I don like to lie but when CA ask about how I am getting along with the students in the sub group,I really don know how to explain to her,so I just say I am ok.

Sleep late last night,because I reactivity my old FB account and I saw to many old picture and really bring back to much memory.

Finally get a chance to wake up late today also.But this will soon become a privilege that I have to give up for another 11 months.But it definitely with it.

Attended the vertical marathon briefing and I am super excited for the Sunday event,because the last year one was a joke but I also have lots of fun during the event climbing up and down in different block.Hopefully thing will turn up well this year.Pray hard there will not be rain.

Irrational Wednesday

FOA test just ended and I think I will not score that well,my mind suddenly cannot remember those thing that I study when I was doing the short answer questions.But at least I know my weakness,so I can improve on.

2 papers down and left one more to go.Hopefully the last one can be easy.My brain memory is running low already.Luckily holiday is coming.A short break from the studying.

Dragging to go to school each day,which explain why I am always late for school.I really wish there are more students in this sub group,but there is really nothing much I can do about it.Hopefully I can be really wild during the upcoming course camp and really bond with other classmates.

Really find it hard fitting in to the current class sub group.

I am glad that that I found the courage to really express my feeling,getting to know who are those people who can accept/cannot my flaws. If people cannot accept my flaws,then I should just walk always instead of trying to mixing in with those who cannot accept my flaws.If I change myself to pleases other,that what is the different between me and a clown.

Guess this is my retribution for what I did to someone...What come around goes around.

Hopefully things will turn out better soon.

Not going to gym this week.hopefully can resume my normal gym schedule soon.shall do some other stuffs to train my body.

Enlighten Tuesday

Almost been a month(4 may 2014) since I started this changing process.Really sacrifice quite a lot of things but sometime I really have doubt if I  can really make it thought this rest of the 11 months.

IA is starting in October and will end around April,which will be a even harder period of the journey,juggling work,business,CCA and etc.Really wondering how am I going to survive the period.Hopefully can find like minded people who can help me out.

Guess I was lucky that I have been on the "brink of death" literally,because how many people,like me, can walk alway with serious injuries after getting knock down by a van traveling at 50km/hour or even faster.Not trying to boast anything but,the moment when the van hit me,I can really feel like the time really stop for a moment and my mind really have a lot of flashback.

People at their teenage should have fun,I agree.But after that incident,I realize that life can be quite fragile and short.I want to achieve something in life anything.I don want to just study 15 years,just to get a job for the rest of my life.Life should be more than than,in my own opinion.

Almost been living on earth for almost 19.5 years and I have been an under-achiever all this while,for once I really want to challenge myself to excel.

Someone once told me that,when you are experiencing tough time,take a few minutes to think about your goals,then you will have motivation to take small step toward your goal.No one can achieve anything big overnight,only persistent and consistent action can.

Tomorrow there is a test and I am really not really prepare.So lots of mugging to do later at one of my favorite past hideout.Hopefully can upload some photo later on.

At time I really wish my holiday can be filled with lot of camp,because it has been sometime since I participate one.

Saw this on Instagram which really relate and express to what i am feeling and doing.

Bleak Monday

At times,I just wish to have someone who have the same thinking of trying to pushing ourself to achieve something.Having healthy competition to motivate each other to carry on when things are tough.After all,what we achieve is our to keep.Having fun along the way.Being an all-rounder student that can excel in study,sports and etc.

I don really care what other people think about me."nerd","anti-social","weird" and etc. I don really want to mix with people who think they cannot achieve anything and laugh at people's goals or achievement. What I am trying to say is that everyone have an equal opportunities to achieve,but it is a matter of are "WE" willing to do so.

I am aiming to go poly and I wish that I can pay my own school fee by then.How many people in Singapore can proudly say that they paid for their poly school fee by themselves??

As much as I try to stay positive,the surrounding alway drain my energy away,I really don know how much longer I can continue.I really feel helpless that I cannot change my surrounding,having no real friends that I can really depend on.

I guess I am just a weak human after all,whining about problems.

Tired Sunday

To be honest I wish I could have a group of people I could really called friends,but let just say I have a weird attitude.haha.

I believe that as a group we could do more,having heated discussions because we all want the best for the group,friendship become stronger through conflicts,but I don like to be in a group just for the sake of it,doing nothing for the group.

At time I want to fight for some friendship but I guess things don go well.I believe in free will,I don like to force people to accept me if they don want.

Nobody like the feeling of loneliness,but I don want to be fake just because I want to be in the "group".

I really wish one day when I die,I can see who will be the one that really still remember me.