Wonder-less Friday

Somehow, i loss the excitement of working part time already. Perhaps i know that what i want in my life,is more that having a stable jobs and live a mediocre life. Not saying mediocre life is bad or looking down at people who wish to have a mediocre life. I guess,it because i am still young and i want to try different jobs and wish i can be find something that i really interested in and try to start a business in that area.To be honest,i am interested in quite a number of stuffs and i really want to try all of them.

I have personally have some working experience and meet people who are in their jobs for more that a few decade.When i hear that they stay in their jobs is because of passion and i never quite agree with that statement.Personally i believe that that so-called "Passion" is only something that lass for 5 years at most.Most likely after 5 years,people tend to get bored of what they are doing and stay on because on the money.

Example, When a chef have been cooking for more than 10 years,won't they want to open they own restaurant rather than working for others who are making money off their cooking skills?

Sometime we often chose to "self-denial" the facts and regret later in life why we did not take the opportunities when we are young.Sometimes we are so afraid of what we can achieve because of our surrounding and background.

Guess the reason why i like to take risk is because i have nothing to lose except for my life and i can really give my best shot at the things i want to achieve if i want to and ignoring those that believe i will fail.Rather than say i am unrealistic,i guess i am more of wanting to prove myself to others.Or should i say i am a "好高骛远(  Chinese idiom that describe someone who bite off more than one can chew)" person.

One of my goals in life is to one day be one stage and give talks about the economic and the future.I really get excited when successful people are invited to give a talk about the economic and the future. I am amaze at how some people can have so much visions for the future.Found this video yesterday and watch it and i really like some of the answer that they reply.

Or even better,speaking to thousands of people about your experiences and the journey to success.

This few week,i have been wondering around the towns area alone and kinda have lots of thoughts about lots of stuffs as usual.I am not the kind of person that will plan outings and ask people along because i hate it when a group cannot compromise on a certain things and in the end,no one end up happy.I rather spend time along being carefree and do as i like.But at times,i got to admit,it can be quite bored and lonely.

Personal sharing post.

Kinda want to do post about personal sharing about myself.100% facts.I am challenging myself to face my problems head on.

"READ IT AT YOUR OWN RISK"

Keep wondering what is wrong with me.One moment,i can be very highly motivated and the next moment,i can be very down and depress.To be honest,i am a guy that have really low esteem and self confidence.

I am really afraid of "taking the first step" to talk to people.Reasons being i like to "joke" or "play" without limits and sometime people can be angry at me because of it and i don really like to talk to people who keep swearing things about people parents.To me it kind of a taboo because it just show that you don respect your elders and yourself.I have to admit i rarely do it unless i am really really pissed off by that person and the words just "fly out" from my mouth. 

I seldom acknowledge people as my friends because i think that the word "Friends" kinda lose it original meaning nowadays.I prefer to called those "hi, bye people" as acquaintance.People nowadays call someone their "friends" when they only just met the other person for a few time.Guess everyone definition of "friends" are different.

To me,personally,a "friends" is someone who you can comfortably  have a very personal chat with,people who you are willing to help them when they need help and you can just show your true personally in front of them,friendship that can last even without years of not seeing each other.That's the reasons why i don really have much people or almost non, I called "friends" because people tend to "come and go" and when conflicts tend to arise,I can confidently say that I have already tried to compromise and when i see there is no meaning to  haggle anymore,i will just walked away from that friendship because if that friendship is still worth something,the person will then come and try to salvage it.No point try to salvage the friendship alone when the opposite party don't even care anymore right??    

I always have this dream to start my own entrepreneur business,but then i know that i cannot do it alone.I did try to get people to help but i always get turned down.No mater how hard I tried to stay possitive,it's really very demoralizing when you are faced with rejection every time.But i always have this favorite phase that i say to myself which is "But no one say it's going to be easy"

People say i have no fashion sense and i agree.To me i like to wear oversize jeans and shirt.I don't like to wear tight and uncomfortable,just to look good.I don really have any expensive shirt, pants, watch and etc.The most expensive item that i normally wear is my baby G watch which i bought at $150.I always dream that one day,i am so successful that i can just wear my oversize jeans and shirt and travel around the world looking like a broke guy.

Always wanted to get into a relationship,but then which girl in the right mind will like a guy with no look, no money, no talents, unable to sweet talk, super stubborn and low self confident?Kinda stuck when talking about this topic.I just think if any girl were to get into a relationship with me,i will definitely be a burden and embarrassment to her.I mean i am kinda shock and jealous when people around me are in a relationship and i am "forever alone".Not saying i am finding a person to feel "less lonely" but then i just really want to find a soul mate.

Hard to believe right??My confidence level is so low that i often have serious sweaty palm and legs problems.Can you believe that all my flip flop actually turn partially black because of my foot sweat?Yup that how bad my sweaty foot is... ;(.

Shall end here.(photos used in this blog are taken from Google Search and are not mine.) :).

Rainy Friday

Time now is 12.56am and i am still not sleep because IT HOLIDAY. WOOT..

Basically did nothing much for the past 1 week.except the Sunday and Tuesday dinner and Wednesday movie.

Sunday dinner was at Swee Choon. The food was awesome or perhaps i was too hungry that day,as i eat the most i guess.After dinner,we went to "subway" and it was bored and awkward.The rest went back at around 10.30pm.I was kind of bored and i really need to have some quiet time,so i went to took the MRT and went down to Marina Bay Sand.

To me MBS is a special place.It kinda evoke different emotions in me. Excited, sad, happy, angry, relive, naive, childish and a lots more.I guess it also a hideout place for me when i need some quiet time and inspiration.Somehow i find it hard to really describe my love and hate for this place also.

Tuesday dinner was also not really that nice though.The food really take quite a while to cook and i was already staving when i was waiting for the rest.After the dinner,went to McDonald for ice cream and did some "crap talking" with the rest.

To be honest,when we was about to go home,i kinda hesitate for a while because i don want to take the long MRT route home but then i also don want to cause unnecessary trouble so i kinda took the bus back.Then also along the journey,i passed by a bus stop which kinda brought back some memories of my previous business associate,where we used to catch the last bus home after the Friday business meeting and we used to talk about lots of stuffs about dreams and etc.

Wednesday movie was kinda an improtu one."Maze runner" was really a nice show.Dinner after that with dad at chomp chomp.

Kinda excited for no reasons for the upcoming  GEP trip.Hopefully everything can go smoothly.haha

Freedom Finally

Feel so relive that the exam are over.One week before the exam,i was so stress up because i only study last minutes and i still aiming to get A for the 3 subjects.

After the exam,i don think that i will get A's but more to getting B's and C' because of careless mistake.Gosh...But still i am glad that i have a aim before the exam as i really get motivate to study and not giving up..

Still i am still happy as i did give my best shot for this course exam.And hopefully the upcoming industry attachment will pass very fast.

No mood to work part time during this 1 month break.1 year back at around this timing,i was doing stewarding for the F1 event with one of my classmate and i must say it was a really a fun and unique experience.But this year the hotel that i used to work for decided not to re-contract for the F1 again.  

Hopefully i can find stuffs to do during the holiday.I really hate boredom.

Will be back to blogging on Friday.stay tune reader.

Finally my blog reach 3k view in like after 6 years.Pathetic right??plus I still haven minus away the "view" by me.

"disillusioned" week

Kinda have lots of stuffs to blog about but did not really have much time to really write it down because exam are next week and I am trying my best to revise.

Time now is 7.27pm and I am now on the train,going home.

Time really past really fast and soon it will be another 6 months of dreaded industrial attachment and I am kinda afraid to be honest.

I am kinda excited and I am also having second thoughts about the upcoming trip.

After reading a fews book about businesses and mindset,I am really make me more excited and motivated by the idea of becoming a entrepreneur. Terms like "financial freedom", "rats-race" "401k" and etc.,really broaden my view about certain stuffs that normally people of my ages would not want to think about.Not bragging anything but all I can say is that when you really understand the "value of money",your thinking will start to change.

For me,I had a goal this year which was to set up a small entrepreneur project to fund my upcoming poly fee,but along the way,things does not go according to what I planned and I kinda lose the initial motivation to really start the whole project.Up till recently,when my mom told me about the stuffs that I bought from Malaysia,I kinda regain some of the initial excitement and maybe after my exam,I would really want to try to set up this project.

School seem to be much of a burden as for this few week,I only have to go to school for 1 lesson only.Want to skip the lesson but,the lectures is giving important tips on the exam.So I ended slacking with some classmate after school having lunch,talk craps and stuff.

Sometime,one harmless and unintentional action could mean a different thing to different people.Guess I am kinda sensitive when people talk this "topic" to me because I really wonder what are some of the stuff that people talk about me behind my back? "I am not really concern what my classmate talk about me but I am more curious what are the stuffs the people I call "friends" talk about when I am not around.I mean we have "different sides" I front of different people but I am really curious those friends that I have are showing me their "true side" or "fake side" in front of me.

Why I am suddenly talking about this topic is because today when I went back to my ex-secondary school.The school did not change much.Some of those teacher that though me have left.Somehow I got a weird chilling feeling in my heart.Walk past those corridor and memory of those secondary school just seem like yesterday.Those "bros" and "friends" that I used to play,joke,disturb,goes to recess,smoke,go LAN and stuffs,seem like they have vanish now.

I can still remember the bros that help me out during the sec 4 toilet incident,the friend that always went to esplanade library to study with.The once close clique in sec 4.

Perhaps is because I don normally show my feeling or tell anyone my intension that make people feel that I don really treasure the friendship.But trust me I really treasure it.

Or should I say "或许友情是要经过时间的考验才能知道那东西的价值"

Why my emotion is like a never ending roller coster??Why is it when it reach a high point,it will definitely drop to a bottomless pit??

To me now I am really afraid of interacting with new people.I don want to feel happy and then sad the next moment.I have to admit I am weaker than other guys because i am alway emotional.