Did not did anything much today.Did some social media hopping and found some "interesting" one i would say.In a sense that i saw my past shadow in someone,trying to use smoking as a way of numbing oneself from the reality of the world.
I remember when i start smoking at the age of 16,is because it was then "cool" for students to be smoking and look like a bad ass.So i began to steal my mom cigarette and bring it to school to smoke.Back then i was this group of students that will find different places in school to smoke.Guys will go girls toilet to smoke together,girls will go guys toilet to smoke together and lots of funny places that we have been to,just for the sake of smoking.I was lucky,many of those people always get caught and I was only caught once.
I still remember why i was caught..Back then the school have this dual recess system where by the sec 1,2,3 would go for the first recess and after they have finish,the sec 4 and 5 would go for the second recess.When i was in sec 5,most of the school gangster would already have graduated at N level and i was lucky to make it in to O level.So i was like the "so-call senior gangster" in the school and if i am not wrong I was the only guy in the upper sec that would dare and always have cigarettes cos i always steal from my mom to smoke.
Back to story,it was stressful for me in sec 5 cos i really suck at every subjects and i barely make it to sec 5,so I was kinda like wasting time in school and when common test come,i would then rush everything.
So during one day,I had maths lesson before recess and it was like 2 week before the common test and i was so stress up that i did not really have appetite that i went to toilet to smoke alone,so i went to the toilet behind the canteen as there as benches inside the toilet.I was so stress that i smoke another stick after finishing my first stick and halfway through,suddenly,someone open the toilet door and i saw my maths teacher outside the toilet and he saw me with a cigarette in my hand and in my mind, i was like "Oh SHIT*",but i guess he knew that i was very stress up,so he ask me to throw away the cigarette and did not report anything to the school.
Did continue to smoke after that incident but the thought of quit smoking come when I was coughing very badly and went to hospital for 3 day during the mid term exam and i mange to skip 2 papers.It was the second time i was admitted to hospital because of smoking and i thought to myself,if i were to continue,i might not be lucky again.So that was when i decided to quit smoking for good.
Looking back I realize the reason for me to smoke was to look cool in the first place but as i continue,it become a way of numbing myself from the stress.It was a stupid way I would say now,there are lots of ways to numb our self from stress and smoking or any way of hurting oneself is definitely NOT the way.You could do things you like,sports,shopping,talking to someone and etc. We might be young now to not the consequences but I can confidently say that you will regret when you grow up if you were to do stuffs that harm yourself.
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