Change Friday

I was really not prepare for this changing journey,I never thought of the things I need to sacrifice and when I look back now,there will still be a "bitter sad feeling".Having a different attitude toward life and the actions you do,trying to take additional responsibility and fighting temptations and negative  each day.

I really wish I can play like I used to,but I really don have time and the clock is ticking each moment In people's eyes I may be acting weird,but truth be told is that I really want to concentrate during lesson and play after lesson,but some lessons are really boring and it really cause most of the students to do their own stuffs.I really get distracted by people easily,so I try to distance myself from the class by trying to sit and the back of the class and away from the rest and trying to occupy 2 seats,so as to minimize distractions.

When I distance myself from the sub group,I really find it hard to fit in after lessons with them.As time goes,I guess some are annoy by my attitude towards them.I really feel like I am not part of them anymore.This is when I made a decision to go solo because I will not change what I am doing now so as to fit in with them and not because I don treasure the friendship .

And now,when I see them playing around in lesson,therewill be this unknowingly jealousies feeling in my heart.Not because of the feeling for someone,but because I used to thought that the friendship was much stronger but it turn out not as I thought it will be.

Someone once tried to talk to me but that that moment I really don know how to say it.Now I have finally say it all out.

This will be my last post about the sub group and after that I will just be normal again.I made the decision and I have to accept the consequence