Sorry for the M.I.A (EDITED)

This whole 28 days have been a roller-coaster riding for me with different stuffs that happened.

14 to 18 June, I went for a church camp in Malaysia and to be honest I did not really enjoy it because during the free time,I was still busy skyping with group-mate to settle the school project and i did not really built friendship with the others church member also. Felt most sermon kinda preach to me at the right time to me.

Somehow my perspiring condition seem to be getting worst and i really want to know what is wrong with my body. Apart from that there seem to be other problems with my body that i cannot pin point so I decided to go for a medical check up and hopefully the result can tell me what is wrong with my body.

Have been starting with this "50 days fast".Somehow the real meaning was to pray for the nation and stuffs but i have different reasons for fasting.For more info about the 50 days fast,below is the link to get more info.I really like the small black book with all the daily devotion material and i have to confess that i did not devote some of my daily time to go through those materials and i skip fasting for a few day also  :((((

Website:http://www.lovesingapore.org.sg/

Get back some of the test paper and i fail microecon really badly 12/50 and i guess i am the lowest in the cohort...Kinda though i can barely pass but i really "hate" maths and i really suck at remembering formula because it so confusing or should i say I prefer simplicity and i get "turn off" the moment I see those messy formula.

School project seem to be much of the burden as some of the project was kinda rejected again and have to redo and the date line seem so close and some lecture tried to be funny and only sent the sample template today or even worst, some lecture ask us to book their time during e-learning week and only to get a reply that they have training and they are not free at all during the e-learning week.Not to rant but serious poly time table is really screw up.

This week, i kinda lose to the "inner devil" inside of me and give in to temptation again. ;((((

i know my blog template have gone haywire and i really cannot figure out which is the code that causes it. HELP ANYONE??

Failed to post on time again. (1 to 7 June)

Kinda fail to post on time again...

So had mid semester test on Tuesday to Thursday and I kinda flunk all paper cos I mind mind really went black and when i try to do last minutes revision before the paper,nothing went in. Guess i have to really do well for my semester test and project to pull up my grades.

So after the last paper on Thursday,meet cg member to have lunch at bugis before heading down to the SEA games carnival at kallang.Want to try some of the booth but the weather is really very hot and I am perspiring like mad, so ended up walking for a while before slacking at the food court till 6pm+ before heading down to amk hub to meet some more cg members.Had dinner and did some chatting and stuff before heading home.

On Friday evening,as I was heading home from amk hub NTUC, I felt someone pat my bag so i turn back and look and I saw someone that I lost contact with.Did some chat up with him and clear some misunderstand. Kinda felt that my perhaps GOD is trying to tell me something which I am struggling now.

Yup just a short post for this week.Kinda trying to figure out my blog code because the alinement have gone haywire.

SATM

 SATM =Mugging for mid sem test.

Just a short post this week as i am rushing to revise for the upcoming test.Been quite an angry week in school because some stuff happen and well, all i can say "god please give me strength to carry on for this 1 year".

To be honest i am being to feel the "generation gap" as school goes by each week. Maybe the problem might be me myself. Somehow i don't really feel that those people are my class are people who I want to built friendship with. Not to badmouth anyone but this is what happen.

 On Monday,I left my bag and laptop outside the class because the room was not open yet and i went to somewhere for a while.When i am back,i saw the class went in the room and my bag and laptop was outside.Perhaps  the fault might be i did not ask anyone to help me look after.But lucky i was only gone for a while and 1 kind soul did help me to move my laptop into the class and my laptop was not stolen.

So i am not convince that my classmate was "selfish" so i decided to try something again on Wednesday. I purposely left my bag with some "classsmate" who was sitting outside the class. again when the class open all went in and my bag was still outside.

Perhaps I don really talk to my current poly "classmate" but then I really feel that people for my ITE days have more common sense as to even thought we were not friends with someone in the class, we will not let their valuable be left unattended.

So I decided something after Wednesday that i will not really do anything for this class even as a class rep. I can be nice to people who treat me badly but then this "class" is not even worth my effort at all.

But on the bright side,Saturday YES was something i can relate to. Be it "relationship", "friendship"," second chance", "suicidal though". Hard to tell that people like me can be down with so much problems and yet still seem so fine on the outside.

I am not really afraid to share my past because i am also human,Life ups and downs is a sure sign that i am still alive each day.

Peharps that "near-death experience" accident 7 years back really change me a lot.And i would say by "mercy" that i can walk out unharmed from that accident.

Not trying to preach Christianity but I am just proud of my faith.

***Will try to fix my blog code after the holiday****

Late post SATM

Was suppose to post on Saturday but was too distracted by my hand phone game.

School was kinda hectic as there are a few interim project submissions and mid semester test is 2 weeks from now and I still don really understand a few module and haven even revise yet.

Guess something that stuck me the most would be a video of nick vujicic called something more.



Reason why i remember this video almost after a week because like nick,i used to have suicidal thoughts because of some stuffs.I will not elaborate what happen,but if your are curious about what happen ask me personally and i will tell you face to face.

But I am proud to say I have walked past those dark day and i am thankfully for each day.

Don't judge people by their physical flaws because they are born with it and they did not chose to have.

Don't hate people because the hurt your emotion,thank them for they made you stronger and wiser.

Don't judge people by their attitude, know their life story first.

Don't hate the world,because there is something worth living each day.

SATM: Barely surviving

Had a FBO class meeting this Wednesday at Clark Quay for dinner.after dinner,the rest suggested to go to "illusion" but was kinda stuck between to go or not to go because there were lesson at 9am the next day but in the end still decided to go with the rest.

I kinda regret paying $40 for the hard liquor because i never try it before and the rest was not really nice.But still i did better than last time because i only puke only once for the whole night.Reach home around 4am and sleep for 3+ hours before dragging myself to school.

Went to Fullerton area with half the class to do some field trip stuff and I was kinda embarrassed because we are walking in and out of the hotel and the security was like staring at us.But still we manage to do what we need to do and was not "kick out of the hotel by them".

Kinda want to talk about "personality" this week,because i was told to do a DISC personality test this week and my result is i am a "DC" person and i am the only one in the class that belong to the "D" type.

As most of the module project is starting,i am kinda irritated, frustrated and stress because tests and projects dateline as so close to each other.And i kinda really need to do lots of self study to "catch up" with the lessons.

When back to school on a Saturday morning and i kinda hate it when my weekend are disturb by school and i initially wanted to go to zouk on Friday night but i know that if i were to go,high chance i will not be able to wake up for Saturday lesson.

So after the sat morning lesson,went to youth service and after the youth service, i had a meeting with my CL and i have to admit i kinda want to escape from her because i know what she want to say to me.But then again i have to agree what she say even though she is very naggy.

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 will re-update this post again because i need to sleep if not i wil be late for school again.

No holiday mood lei.

Went to some cafe with "F1,2013 stewarding ppl" on Thursday after school so i just let the picture describe everything.

For me i would say that the food fusion was worth a try and i would give a 3/5.The ambiance was really an interesting concept but i did not take any picture so if you want to know,you can visit the restaurant yourself.

Restaurant info :La Marelle Cafe @ 25 Baghdad Street

Just a short explanation of the photo above.Saw this "garfield" outside one of the cafe and i am not kidding,the size of the cat is really quite big.Not wanting to disturb it,so i decided to take this photo from a distance.

So after dinner,we are looking for a place for dessert but most of the cafe are full and we ended up walk to Bugis plus and have waffle ice-cream from MarbleSlab.


1 May (labor Day)

Dad say he would bring me to Malaysia today but he did not.So I ended up going Malaysia alone at 7pm.Spent $30 RM on McDonald for dinner because I did not really eat much in the afternoon and i decided to have my 3 in 1 meal (lunch+ dinner + supper) so I order a quarter pounder meal plus 20 pieces nuggets and the lady also give me.I have no idea why she give me this,so i check the receipt and it say it was some kind of promotion item,so i just take it.Intending to sell it away cos it will accumulate dust in my house only.

2 May

Went for the Oikos with the zone people which i initial wanted to skip because i kinda wanted to just stay at home and sleep or play Dota,but eventually decided that i need to exercise so i kinda drag myself to go.Played captain ball,frisbee and volleyball and i kinda had muscle cramp after like playing for 10 minutes but i just decided to just play on.

Dinner with dad after that with my stinky smell from my sweat that dry up on the shirt.

Overview of my SATM

SATM= Status at the moment :).

School

Kinda started school for a week now and i kinda "hate it" at the moment.Class was not those "enthusiastic" kind and was kinda "sabo" to the the class rep because I was the oldest in class. Not really talking to the classmate because i was kinda shy and i tend to sweat a lot in school because the weather is so darm hot and to make matter worst,when my sweat dry up in aircon,it tend to smell.

School schedule was kinda fck up because i still don know how to use the "complicated multiple online platform" and was kinda hard to actually find the up to date timetable.Lots of holiday are coming up soon and guess what??I have to go back school on a Saturday for make up lesson.

Just hoping and praying that school might become better in time to come because once i can settle my school stuff,i can move on to planning my "entrepreneur stuff".Always wanted to challenge myself to become an "all rounder student and a bit more" because i know how hash the world can be and school will be the last place "where we can make mistake and get no consequences"

Weekends

So on Saturday was the BEACH MANIA event which i was part of planing but guess what??It was sunny on the morning when we are setting up and in the afternoon,when we was about to start,it rain and we have to "abort the event" and went to play captain ball in some multi purpose void deck area.Was kinda surprise i did not even have any cramps because i really cannot remember when was the last time i exercise already.

Dessert after dinner was kinda embarrassing because 2 person from our group was queuing for LLAO LLAO and when it their turn we kinda "cut queen" and order 9 cups and i can felt that people are cursing and swearing at us and to make it more embarrassing,all of us are wear yellow t-shit.

What next??

I am also not sure what is next in myself. But.But i would say i would want to put my faith in God again.Because i know through challenges i would learn and bring "force" out of my comfort zone each time.But stay tune guys,will update soon.

Mixed feeling on Back To School

Yup like what the title say.MIXED FEELING...

(Negative feeling)

• Got into TP which was my 3 and last choice when i apply for school.Reasons being it far from my home and from what i hear from other RP seem to be a more "relax" poly compare to other poly in SG. But since i am already in TP,i guess i just have to get over with it as school is starting on MONDAY!!

• As what i expect,i am the oldest in class or perhaps the entire business school students while most of them are 17&18.Hopefully there will not be much "generation gap". 

• During orientation,the lecture say that if we were to late for 3 time,we will only get borderline pass only,so kinda scare i will be late.Taxi fare from my house to school is about $14++ and if on peak hour,most properly is about $20++

• As i haven being official being matriculated into the student database yet,i cannot access to any of the school portal and to make matter worse,everything information can only be search on the student portal.I don really like to say this but "F*** MY LIFE SERIOUSLY"

• Kinda stuck between if i want to be a very "siao on" or a "very relax student", because i kinda wanting to join 2 "Interest group/IG" as both are kinda related to my course and hopefully can get to know more people from there.

• Might not get used to poly as somehow the thing that i learn in ITE might be very different form poly and one example would be presentation skills.One trick that i learn from ITE was to put keyword in the PowerPoint and based on that we can use our own word to present,which i always manage to "smoke my way through".

(Positive feeling)

• AFTER SO LONG,I FINALLY GET INTO POLY. WOOOOOOO

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If people were to ask me if i regret not studying hard in sec 5,my answer would kinda be a YES & NO. Back then in sec 5 i was really clueless and afraid about my future.

It was only in ITE, i found out what i really want and i was even more afraid about my future because i dare to dream bigger, learned not to blindly follow the crowd and was given chance to go oversea to Canada  and that was really something that was the "key changing point".To summarize the trip it would be

 "stepping out of my comfort zone and experience the "ever-changing world" 

So i am kinda curious what would poly be like for me??

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Back Again.(Hopefully can still keep that motivation)

Current status update

.Working (PT/FT)?? --Ended internship about 1 month back and might consider getting a PT job.

(A photo of internship place and my job scope is basically reservation staff, operator, receptionist, kopi kia.)






.Whats next (Poly/NS)??-- Hopefully can defer NS but my poly still haven sent me my enroll pack :(

(Not really the course i wanted and my deferment is still pending )

.Doing what now?? Slacking and lazying around at home and play Maplestory. (yar i know it lame)

(Yar i know its a lame game but i still find the characters cute and there are also new jobs and skills)











.Travel to anywhere during holiday?? Nope,just been to Malaysia twice with my bother and his friends and with my mom and her friends.

7 April
(Impromptu went to Malaysia with my brother and his friend after their dental appointment and by coincident i met a lady that never thought i would meet again.In fact this is not the first time i met her after so long.I still remember i once meet her on an MRT and she was playing with her phone so i guess she never saw me. But somehow whenever I met her again,i would want to go up and apologize to her but then i don have the guts to do what i suppose to done a long time back.

9 April
(Took this photo while having ba ku teh lunch near Malaysia,Sentosa plaza. This was kinda memorable because the last time i  been to the restaurant,something happen and somehow, i regretted a bit.)


So ya those are the few update since i last post.So wanted to restart blogging back after internship but then i have always been lazy and i cannot continue what i started.

Somehow this weekend have been kinda "weird" for me.For those who don know,i have now been to church more often then i used to. Not wanting to say anything to religious here by somehow i believe God have answer my prayer in some part of my life problems and reminding me of some stuffs that i might have "forgotten".

Sometimes i really wonder if I have put up so many "fake masks" that i am beginning to forget who i really am and it kinda felt that i am have some "identity crisis" problems.I am not trying to get attention or sympathy but honestly some part of me want to be like "famous influencer" , " teenage entrepreneur", "excelling in sports", "awesome drummer" and much  much more.

Have to admit i will feel jealous when people can do the things that i want do.I don really want the "fame and glamour" because when you are famous,you don really know who are your really friends and who are just trying to take advantage of you. I admit that i have low self stem and i need something to fill that empty void.

Will update again.so stay tune. 

Disclamer !! Photo are taken from Google!!

Fun & sick week

When I intent to restart blogging,I say that I would want to post everyday,but now,I have been posting weekly only.I must say I have become more and more lazy as time goes by and along the way I really lost a lot "stuffs" like the motivation and the positive attitude to start an entrepreneur project,the discipline to at least read a chapter each day,lost the interest to go to the bookstore to buy a self help book weekly.

Not going to give excuses such as I have no time because of attachment work or etc because really need to be honest with my self and start planing for my life ahead.In a few month time,I am going to hit "20" and I am still not done with my study and NS.

During this week in my workplace,it become more obvious that I am not really suitable in the hotel industry or more specifically the "front office".My personality and interest is more of doing those "back support stuffs" because I can be really shy and I sometime find it hard to get my message across to people and i don't like to deal with lots of guests unless needed,because I have been in "service industry" long enough to see the flaws and beauty of it.And the most valuable lesson I learn is

 "your best cannot please all guest,but you cannot stop trying your best to please the guests"

To be honest I don really care if guest recognize my name or give me tips(unless it a 3 digits tips,I might consider take my words back),but to me what I really want is that satisfaction of guest and letting them leave happy from my workplace,be it a random act of kindness or a "wow" moment for them.

Then again there will alway be those "cheapo" or "nasty" guest that will really spoilt your mood and day with their nonsense.

Ok shall not continue talking about my job for now.

On a happy note,Sunday church outing was fun but we lose the game.haha...but we definitely give our best in trying to beat the other teams despite being outnumber.

Sick week

Finally the 2 week of orientations plus training is finally over.And tomorrow will be the day i officially start my attachment with live guest.Though i have been there to do part time,but somehow i will still feel excited and nervous.

Despite having "work" till 6 pm from Monday to Friday, still i am happy that i can still can fill my day with meeting people and doing stuffs.

But i am kind of happy for the meet up on Monday with some people.Been through lots of things with them during the secondary school years.Guess it was when we went to different path after secondary school,things began to change i guess.To be honest,i did really want to let this friendship drift away at first because of stuffs that happen during the past 2 years and even deleting them from my social media.Then suddenly your called for a meetup and i decided to just turn up.

Yup,i still keep all those letters and picture.During the meetup,those feeling was different from when we were all in secondary school.Somehow i feel so distance from your,even if there was lots of laughter from our conversation.When your talk about the topic of "social media",somehow i just blabber out that i delete your from social media,in hoping that we can really have a heart to heart talk together but then,the more i talk,the more distance i feel from your.Don't ask me why i feel like that because i myself have no idea.

On a lighter note,Saturday church service was awesome i would say.Been to about 4 different church for some time in 11 years and yet ,i am still not wanting to be a christian.Somehow this seen to be the fourth calling and yet,my answer still remain the same.

Been having headaches,flu and ulcer for the whole week and i guess it because of the weather...hais

Guidence week

Yup,lots of outings and stuffs happen this 2 week.

Getting to know new people through a friend of my and somehow I would say it not a coincident that all this happen when I need a new directions.

Somehow during the sharing on the topic of self forgiveness,I somehow felt happy that I manage to have some time to think about past events and really ponder on those past events.Even though it all in the past,to be honest I never really let myself go after all these time.Pretending to not really care but deep down,some of those events and memories are still so clear in my mind.

Call me stupid or what,why bother remember stuffs that can hurt you so much...

Few days back I was at a place and receive an unexpected call from someone.I never really hear what was the call about and I was kinda waiting for the SMS but it never came and I was really to afraid to call back.

Industry attachment was kinda alright as the first week was training.Lots of notes to do but I really gain a lot from the training.hopefully the next week training will be more fun

Wonder-less Friday

Somehow, i loss the excitement of working part time already. Perhaps i know that what i want in my life,is more that having a stable jobs and live a mediocre life. Not saying mediocre life is bad or looking down at people who wish to have a mediocre life. I guess,it because i am still young and i want to try different jobs and wish i can be find something that i really interested in and try to start a business in that area.To be honest,i am interested in quite a number of stuffs and i really want to try all of them.

I have personally have some working experience and meet people who are in their jobs for more that a few decade.When i hear that they stay in their jobs is because of passion and i never quite agree with that statement.Personally i believe that that so-called "Passion" is only something that lass for 5 years at most.Most likely after 5 years,people tend to get bored of what they are doing and stay on because on the money.

Example, When a chef have been cooking for more than 10 years,won't they want to open they own restaurant rather than working for others who are making money off their cooking skills?

Sometime we often chose to "self-denial" the facts and regret later in life why we did not take the opportunities when we are young.Sometimes we are so afraid of what we can achieve because of our surrounding and background.

Guess the reason why i like to take risk is because i have nothing to lose except for my life and i can really give my best shot at the things i want to achieve if i want to and ignoring those that believe i will fail.Rather than say i am unrealistic,i guess i am more of wanting to prove myself to others.Or should i say i am a "好高骛远(  Chinese idiom that describe someone who bite off more than one can chew)" person.

One of my goals in life is to one day be one stage and give talks about the economic and the future.I really get excited when successful people are invited to give a talk about the economic and the future. I am amaze at how some people can have so much visions for the future.Found this video yesterday and watch it and i really like some of the answer that they reply.

Or even better,speaking to thousands of people about your experiences and the journey to success.

This few week,i have been wondering around the towns area alone and kinda have lots of thoughts about lots of stuffs as usual.I am not the kind of person that will plan outings and ask people along because i hate it when a group cannot compromise on a certain things and in the end,no one end up happy.I rather spend time along being carefree and do as i like.But at times,i got to admit,it can be quite bored and lonely.

Personal sharing post.

Kinda want to do post about personal sharing about myself.100% facts.I am challenging myself to face my problems head on.

"READ IT AT YOUR OWN RISK"

Keep wondering what is wrong with me.One moment,i can be very highly motivated and the next moment,i can be very down and depress.To be honest,i am a guy that have really low esteem and self confidence.

I am really afraid of "taking the first step" to talk to people.Reasons being i like to "joke" or "play" without limits and sometime people can be angry at me because of it and i don really like to talk to people who keep swearing things about people parents.To me it kind of a taboo because it just show that you don respect your elders and yourself.I have to admit i rarely do it unless i am really really pissed off by that person and the words just "fly out" from my mouth. 

I seldom acknowledge people as my friends because i think that the word "Friends" kinda lose it original meaning nowadays.I prefer to called those "hi, bye people" as acquaintance.People nowadays call someone their "friends" when they only just met the other person for a few time.Guess everyone definition of "friends" are different.

To me,personally,a "friends" is someone who you can comfortably  have a very personal chat with,people who you are willing to help them when they need help and you can just show your true personally in front of them,friendship that can last even without years of not seeing each other.That's the reasons why i don really have much people or almost non, I called "friends" because people tend to "come and go" and when conflicts tend to arise,I can confidently say that I have already tried to compromise and when i see there is no meaning to  haggle anymore,i will just walked away from that friendship because if that friendship is still worth something,the person will then come and try to salvage it.No point try to salvage the friendship alone when the opposite party don't even care anymore right??    

I always have this dream to start my own entrepreneur business,but then i know that i cannot do it alone.I did try to get people to help but i always get turned down.No mater how hard I tried to stay possitive,it's really very demoralizing when you are faced with rejection every time.But i always have this favorite phase that i say to myself which is "But no one say it's going to be easy"

People say i have no fashion sense and i agree.To me i like to wear oversize jeans and shirt.I don't like to wear tight and uncomfortable,just to look good.I don really have any expensive shirt, pants, watch and etc.The most expensive item that i normally wear is my baby G watch which i bought at $150.I always dream that one day,i am so successful that i can just wear my oversize jeans and shirt and travel around the world looking like a broke guy.

Always wanted to get into a relationship,but then which girl in the right mind will like a guy with no look, no money, no talents, unable to sweet talk, super stubborn and low self confident?Kinda stuck when talking about this topic.I just think if any girl were to get into a relationship with me,i will definitely be a burden and embarrassment to her.I mean i am kinda shock and jealous when people around me are in a relationship and i am "forever alone".Not saying i am finding a person to feel "less lonely" but then i just really want to find a soul mate.

Hard to believe right??My confidence level is so low that i often have serious sweaty palm and legs problems.Can you believe that all my flip flop actually turn partially black because of my foot sweat?Yup that how bad my sweaty foot is... ;(.

Shall end here.(photos used in this blog are taken from Google Search and are not mine.) :).

Rainy Friday

Time now is 12.56am and i am still not sleep because IT HOLIDAY. WOOT..

Basically did nothing much for the past 1 week.except the Sunday and Tuesday dinner and Wednesday movie.

Sunday dinner was at Swee Choon. The food was awesome or perhaps i was too hungry that day,as i eat the most i guess.After dinner,we went to "subway" and it was bored and awkward.The rest went back at around 10.30pm.I was kind of bored and i really need to have some quiet time,so i went to took the MRT and went down to Marina Bay Sand.

To me MBS is a special place.It kinda evoke different emotions in me. Excited, sad, happy, angry, relive, naive, childish and a lots more.I guess it also a hideout place for me when i need some quiet time and inspiration.Somehow i find it hard to really describe my love and hate for this place also.

Tuesday dinner was also not really that nice though.The food really take quite a while to cook and i was already staving when i was waiting for the rest.After the dinner,went to McDonald for ice cream and did some "crap talking" with the rest.

To be honest,when we was about to go home,i kinda hesitate for a while because i don want to take the long MRT route home but then i also don want to cause unnecessary trouble so i kinda took the bus back.Then also along the journey,i passed by a bus stop which kinda brought back some memories of my previous business associate,where we used to catch the last bus home after the Friday business meeting and we used to talk about lots of stuffs about dreams and etc.

Wednesday movie was kinda an improtu one."Maze runner" was really a nice show.Dinner after that with dad at chomp chomp.

Kinda excited for no reasons for the upcoming  GEP trip.Hopefully everything can go smoothly.haha

Freedom Finally

Feel so relive that the exam are over.One week before the exam,i was so stress up because i only study last minutes and i still aiming to get A for the 3 subjects.

After the exam,i don think that i will get A's but more to getting B's and C' because of careless mistake.Gosh...But still i am glad that i have a aim before the exam as i really get motivate to study and not giving up..

Still i am still happy as i did give my best shot for this course exam.And hopefully the upcoming industry attachment will pass very fast.

No mood to work part time during this 1 month break.1 year back at around this timing,i was doing stewarding for the F1 event with one of my classmate and i must say it was a really a fun and unique experience.But this year the hotel that i used to work for decided not to re-contract for the F1 again.  

Hopefully i can find stuffs to do during the holiday.I really hate boredom.

Will be back to blogging on Friday.stay tune reader.

Finally my blog reach 3k view in like after 6 years.Pathetic right??plus I still haven minus away the "view" by me.

"disillusioned" week

Kinda have lots of stuffs to blog about but did not really have much time to really write it down because exam are next week and I am trying my best to revise.

Time now is 7.27pm and I am now on the train,going home.

Time really past really fast and soon it will be another 6 months of dreaded industrial attachment and I am kinda afraid to be honest.

I am kinda excited and I am also having second thoughts about the upcoming trip.

After reading a fews book about businesses and mindset,I am really make me more excited and motivated by the idea of becoming a entrepreneur. Terms like "financial freedom", "rats-race" "401k" and etc.,really broaden my view about certain stuffs that normally people of my ages would not want to think about.Not bragging anything but all I can say is that when you really understand the "value of money",your thinking will start to change.

For me,I had a goal this year which was to set up a small entrepreneur project to fund my upcoming poly fee,but along the way,things does not go according to what I planned and I kinda lose the initial motivation to really start the whole project.Up till recently,when my mom told me about the stuffs that I bought from Malaysia,I kinda regain some of the initial excitement and maybe after my exam,I would really want to try to set up this project.

School seem to be much of a burden as for this few week,I only have to go to school for 1 lesson only.Want to skip the lesson but,the lectures is giving important tips on the exam.So I ended slacking with some classmate after school having lunch,talk craps and stuff.

Sometime,one harmless and unintentional action could mean a different thing to different people.Guess I am kinda sensitive when people talk this "topic" to me because I really wonder what are some of the stuff that people talk about me behind my back? "I am not really concern what my classmate talk about me but I am more curious what are the stuffs the people I call "friends" talk about when I am not around.I mean we have "different sides" I front of different people but I am really curious those friends that I have are showing me their "true side" or "fake side" in front of me.

Why I am suddenly talking about this topic is because today when I went back to my ex-secondary school.The school did not change much.Some of those teacher that though me have left.Somehow I got a weird chilling feeling in my heart.Walk past those corridor and memory of those secondary school just seem like yesterday.Those "bros" and "friends" that I used to play,joke,disturb,goes to recess,smoke,go LAN and stuffs,seem like they have vanish now.

I can still remember the bros that help me out during the sec 4 toilet incident,the friend that always went to esplanade library to study with.The once close clique in sec 4.

Perhaps is because I don normally show my feeling or tell anyone my intension that make people feel that I don really treasure the friendship.But trust me I really treasure it.

Or should I say "或许友情是要经过时间的考验才能知道那东西的价值"

Why my emotion is like a never ending roller coster??Why is it when it reach a high point,it will definitely drop to a bottomless pit??

To me now I am really afraid of interacting with new people.I don want to feel happy and then sad the next moment.I have to admit I am weaker than other guys because i am alway emotional.

"Circles" week (25 to 28 August)

Kinda lost the excitement in blogging already.When i first start blogging again few months back,i want to keep a dairy of what are the events and stuffs that happen within this one year.And most importantly to remind me of the goals that i have set,"4.0 GPA".

Right now,to be honest,I still want to start that entrepreneur idea that i have thought of but i don really have that finance right now.Wanted to lent from mum but she already lent me some money for the upcoming trip and she kinda not wanting me to go on this trip also.And also when my attachment start,i might not be able to handle both task at the same time.Did find some people to join me,but was rejected immediately.But still i will not give up on this idea,for i will definitely work some things out.

Keep having this thought that i am a "stubborn" person with a tendency on making "rash" decisions and end up making the "wrong" choice.Perhaps being an "emotional" person is my weakness.I am always affect by other people feelings and my own feelings that when it come to making a choice or a decisions,i am blinding by emotions that i cannot make a logical decisions or actions.

About 2 week till the final 2 exam paper and it will be the end of the 6 months school lesson and the start of 6 months attachment program.Still a bit nerve wracking about it.Hopefully this attachment would pass very fast.I guess perhaps i would miss the class a bit.Did not really bond with them much but there are times which i really had a lots of fun with them.Will miss a few of them when i leave.

Not to sure what i am going to do during the upcoming holiday...haha...Not intending to work part time but i am low on cash.What to do??

Somehow this is how i am feeling now.

Guess one day i will find my own happiness,but till then i will patiently wait for her to come into my life.

Moody week (18 to 24 Aug)

Guess I have been numbing myself by trying to keep a busy schedule except Sunday.But I am kinda  tired by the busy schedule.Even after work,I would find some activities,so that I will not start to "over-think" some issues.

Don really have the initial motivation to study already and I am forcing myself to study.Lesson now are all about revision and I really cannot answer most of the questions.

To be honest I used to think I have passion in the service industry but as time goes by,I am being to doubt myself.I really like the "human interactions" and creating the "wow factors" for guests but I really get stress up when things don go according to plan.Perhaps the "f&b"  and the "hotels" industry is not really suitable for me.I always have lots of funny and weird ideas that I want to try out but I am not really in any position to try it out.

Shows like "hotel hell" and "undercover boss" always inspire me to become a entrepreneur in the service industry.Competitions from well known brands kinda make it hard to start a business and compete with them,but I beg to differ.There is a saying "the bigger it is the easier it fall".

Just want to get good grade for my current course so that I can go to "events management course" in poly and hopefully after NS I have the capital to start my own business venture.

But right now I am kinda afraid of the upcoming industry attachment.I have no idea why also.