Wednesday, September 3, 2014

"disillusioned" week

Kinda have lots of stuffs to blog about but did not really have much time to really write it down because exam are next week and I am trying my best to revise.

Time now is 7.27pm and I am now on the train,going home.

Time really past really fast and soon it will be another 6 months of dreaded industrial attachment and I am kinda afraid to be honest.

I am kinda excited and I am also having second thoughts about the upcoming trip.

After reading a fews book about businesses and mindset,I am really make me more excited and motivated by the idea of becoming a entrepreneur. Terms like "financial freedom", "rats-race" "401k" and etc.,really broaden my view about certain stuffs that normally people of my ages would not want to think about.Not bragging anything but all I can say is that when you really understand the "value of money",your thinking will start to change.

For me,I had a goal this year which was to set up a small entrepreneur project to fund my upcoming poly fee,but along the way,things does not go according to what I planned and I kinda lose the initial motivation to really start the whole project.Up till recently,when my mom told me about the stuffs that I bought from Malaysia,I kinda regain some of the initial excitement and maybe after my exam,I would really want to try to set up this project.

School seem to be much of a burden as for this few week,I only have to go to school for 1 lesson only.Want to skip the lesson but,the lectures is giving important tips on the exam.So I ended slacking with some classmate after school having lunch,talk craps and stuff.

Sometime,one harmless and unintentional action could mean a different thing to different people.Guess I am kinda sensitive when people talk this "topic" to me because I really wonder what are some of the stuff that people talk about me behind my back? "I am not really concern what my classmate talk about me but I am more curious what are the stuffs the people I call "friends" talk about when I am not around.I mean we have "different sides" I front of different people but I am really curious those friends that I have are showing me their "true side" or "fake side" in front of me.

Why I am suddenly talking about this topic is because today when I went back to my ex-secondary school.The school did not change much.Some of those teacher that though me have left.Somehow I got a weird chilling feeling in my heart.Walk past those corridor and memory of those secondary school just seem like yesterday.Those "bros" and "friends" that I used to play,joke,disturb,goes to recess,smoke,go LAN and stuffs,seem like they have vanish now.

I can still remember the bros that help me out during the sec 4 toilet incident,the friend that always went to esplanade library to study with.The once close clique in sec 4.

Perhaps is because I don normally show my feeling or tell anyone my intension that make people feel that I don really treasure the friendship.But trust me I really treasure it.

Or should I say "或许友情是要经过时间的考验才能知道那东西的价值"

Why my emotion is like a never ending roller coster??Why is it when it reach a high point,it will definitely drop to a bottomless pit??

To me now I am really afraid of interacting with new people.I don want to feel happy and then sad the next moment.I have to admit I am weaker than other guys because i am alway emotional.



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