Study break...

1 week of study break before the exam next week and I still haven finish completely my revision and I know I am kinda screwed.

Been to a few places to study this week, Selear mall,Nex and T1 KFC which I am now at (1.27pm).Should be revising but I kinda have mental block at he moment so I decided to write this post.

Somehow lots of things and advice kinda struck me.Perhaps why I alway have those "roller-coster" moments might be due to not sticking to the"principles" that I set for myself and alway compromise to "fit-in" or using "shortcuts"

Perhaps I am expose to lots of different "ideas" and "situations" since young, I never want to be in the same "spot" that my father have been in and it's kinda a "mental scars" that I acquire like I was quite young.

Along the way in my teen life,I also meet people who explain certain "economics faults" which really took a while to understand but once you slowly begin to understand the basics,I really want to understand the next level. And also I happen to be working part time and internships at different organizations  which really give me a real life example and opportunity to see the "economic faults" in action and it also kinda really motivate me to really be a entrepreneur in the near future.

Given my current situation in life when I only enroll in poly at the age of 21,I would say this period of time it really kinda a "crucial" and " turmoil" period because I am really struggling in my study and on the other hand I want to start my entrepreneur business but the things that is stopping me is "time"," money", "associates"  and the upcoming "economic crisis".

Not afraid to admit I don have any friends in poly. I been in the stage when I am 16 to 18 when the only thing that really matter is friends and fun. And I have completely give up trying to be their friend after the "laptop incident" and "projects incidents". I mean why should I alway "help" other when they don even appreciate my efforts?? For next term(if I manage to) I am really determine to separate my school life and personal life by doing all those school stuffs in school ONLY. Not going to burn my weekends or personal time for school stuffs because I have enough of it.

I am really contend with the "friends" that I already have at the moment. Just a few handful of people that really care about me and that is enough.

On a side note I decided to leave my emotions matter in God hand.
"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."(Luke 22:42)

Why now??

Decided to write this post as i am on my way back from from school,as this weekend i might not be able to post during the weekend as it might be quite busy.and i don want to always fake the date in my post.

School are still stress as usual,especially when exam are coming and i haven study and there is still tons of stuffs i still not sure about.Got back some of the projects grade and i am quite happy actually.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Was kinda suprise that my blog actually have reader or might be those "spam bots" but still the purpose on my blog was to really hide those secrets that i really feel unsafe to talk to people. Yar i know its irony posting those secrets online and people can just see.

So yar I think I might have a crush on my classmate.But I will not do anything and just let the feeling fade. To be honest I am really not sure will I make it through this 3 years in poly and my other commitments and etc.

Never had someone that I can really tell him/her everything and get honest feedback.I don seem as strong as I look right??

Burden long weekend

Past week was kinda a burden for me.Rushing projects during the long weekend.

But still did manage to relax a bit by going to Malaysia with a group of people and was kinda fun.We (Rec Team) went in on Sunday 10pm and went to have supper and went back the hotel to play card game till 2am. Then the next day the main group arrive at the hotel lobby about 11am, then we went on with the impromptu itinerary.

Went for a quick lunch before heading to play laser tag and the to slack at a cafe nearby.

Some of us need to go back to Singapore earlier and that was really a bad idea because we saw on the traffic cam there was no jam at the causeway but we waited about 2 hours at the causeway to take the bus back to Singapore. The rest that stay on took a cab to Denga bay to have dinner and they sent this pic through whatapp to disturb us :(

Went back home tired but still need to settle the project as presentation is the next day.

Still did not really revise for the upcoming exam and i am kinda scare i will fail. Hais. Wrong choice to go poly maybe??

back again

For the past 2 week,i can really say i am really close to breaking down point.Projects submission and presentations are all due about the same time and my cough is also not helping. I am also very tired to revise my schoolwork and exam are around the corner.

School is still "shity" to me.Did not really have someone in school that i can really make friend with. Somehow i am pretending nothing happen but I REALLY HATE MY CURRENT SCHOOL LIFE. I don really like to rant bad stuffs about people but then I really hate working with people who only offer to "help" when the projects are due in like 1 or 2 weeks time. I know i am not suppose to do this but then i oversaw some "project group evaluation" and I was really pissed off. 

Kinda amazed by the fact that i still haven quit the course yet. Lots of people keep telling me that i need to adapt to this "poly life" shit but than what the point?? Not boasting but perhaps i have seen more stuffs and people and life and I think I really hate working with a particular of people.

I always tell myself,not to do so much for everyone but i always forget to practice it. Always get taken advantage of by people and get stab in the back for what.I mean really..FOR WHAT??